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Bambi Haines

Updated: Nov 21, 2020

This week we're super excited to share that we caught up with the incredible @bambihaines. We've followed Bambi for a while and we're obsessed with her gorgeous little dogs! To hear Bambi's story, keep reading....

Hi Bambi! Welcome to the Proud and Sober family, let's start by you telling us a little more about yourself. 

I am a 39 year old Welsh lass currently residing in East London. The bright lights of London sucked me in straight after I completed a law degree at Aberystwyth University. I could never quite get to grips with how I could even try and make the court room wig look good, so I annoyed quite a few people begging for a job in TV, and with that, my career in the TV industry began.

In 2014, I set up own my own Influencer Management and Talent Booking Agency called The Booking Project (@thebookingproject) - watching a business grow is fascinating, scary and it flashes before your eyes. It really is my life and I adore it.

As well as The Booking Project, life at the moment revolves around introducing my new puppy George to the original OG dog of the house, Delilah. Dogs make me so happy I can’t even put it into words how much joy my loves bring me.

I have a busy life (doesn’t everyone) but I need balance and I am really good at it. I always factor in time to decompress after a busy day with a dog walk and always a hot bath. I am currently doing the 21 Days of Abundance challenge, and I love a good run to let go of the stress of the day. 

I am trans female, and life has been one hell of a journey but I can safely say that my life now is pretty bloody good (I wish I knew it would all be ok as a youngster). 

'Fight hard enough for it and it will come to you', has always been my motto. I did and now it's paying off.

How long have you been sober and what made you choose sober?

I have been sober for 255 days (at the time of submission). I have an app to let me know how long I have been sober for. The stats are insane. I have saved £3,834.63 and have avoided 76,692.58 calories. I mean…. What the hell!

I have always struggled with anxiety (specifically catastrophising) but in my teens, 20’s and most of 30’s I did what we are all encouraged to do and just drank through it. I LOVED it. I loved the habit of a lovely chilled glass of Chablis in the sun, or a glass of moody red in the corner of a London pub whilst shovelling a roast down.

The taste was good and the buzz was better. I would always be the one to say ‘bottle’ rather than ‘glass’ - and I would get the fear when everyone said they were ready to go home. I would often time it, so that I would arrive at the restaurant or bar 15 mins before friends so I could enjoy a lovely glass of whatever I fancied. I saw drinking as chic, civilised and delicious. 

And for the most part, it was. Until I had one too many - then I'd send myself into a spiral of shame and regret. I would awake after (toward the end only having a few glasses) sad, depressed, regretful and I would beat myself up. Punch after punch into the depths of my soul.

What method did you use to become sober? 

Cold Turkey. I always remember how crap booze made me feel and that is enough to make me grab a Seedlip (they do cans now! Game-changer!)

What are your thoughts on the LGBT+ community’s attitude towards alcohol and drugs?

Generally the community likes to have fun and more often than not that will involve alcohol and drugs. We have a lot of celebrate - we authentically live as ourselves, but the sad fact is - sometimes excess takes hold and before people realise addiction latches on.

Why do you think members of the LGBT+ community are more susceptible to experiencing difficulties with alcohol and drugs?

The party element of being a member of the LBGT+ community is not fiction. The community is social to its core and from teen years into the 20’s and 30’s and sometimes beyond, drinking and drug taking is rife. Sadly this relationship with the ‘fun stuff’ sticks with some people and stays with them. 

What do you think we can do to change this?

Drug taking often stems from social drinking and I still think there is limited education around alcohol. Yes, we are told it’s bad but there is soooooo much more to it. I personally think that ’The Naked Mind’ by Annie Grace should be part of every school’s curriculum.

What’s your favourite thing about being sober? 

I feel clean. I feel in control. I feel rested. I feel content. I feel like a lot of good has happened since I stopped, and I don’t believe in coincidences - the booze was masking any potential and taking it out of the equation means I can see opportunities and I take them!

What’s the biggest lesson you’ve learned so far?

I have learnt that sobriety takes the most incredible amount of strength, guts and determination. I have learnt to appreciate my focus and tenacity.

What advice would you give to anyone wanting to give up?

1. ‘You do you’- Do not listen to anyone who tries to stop you in your sobriety. It will be the most incredible thing you ever do.

2. Read ’This Naked Mind’

Bambi, we thank you for taking the time to share your story, you're amazing!

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